


How to save broken hearts

by GraceVanPelt



Category: Shefani, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: F/M, Family, Firsts, Happy, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 23:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12468284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceVanPelt/pseuds/GraceVanPelt
Summary: And that was when she knew he was her forever, her happily-ever-after.





	How to save broken hearts

The first time she realized her husband was not faithful to her anymore (or maybe had never been) was a few weeks before she realized she was pregnant with her second child. Kingston was not even a year old, but Gavin was never at home and everything and everybody was more important than his family. Still, she remembered she had made vows to go through good and bad times. So she stayed and hoped he would stop. He didn't, but she stayed anyway.

 

***

 

The first time someone else realized that their marriage was nothing more than a lie, she cried herself every night for one week to sleep. The worst thing about it was, that it was someone who didn't even know them that well, who didn't know Gavin at all, realized it. She was sure it hadn't been Blake's intention to throw that fact right into her face, but it still hurt like hell.

It had been the third day of filming the blind auditions for season seven of _The Voice_ and she and Gavin had been fighting the whole morning about everything. The fact, that he was never at home, the fact that she was now a judge in a tv show, that Apollo was crying all the time and Gavin had no patience with him (she knew he had never wanted Apollo in the first place, and even though Gavin still loved him because he was after all his son he resented the baby sometimes because he was one more reason for having to stay and not finally going to his girlfriend or whatever) and finally he had begun blaming everything on her. Their failed marriage, their children, the fact that she has accomplished a lot more than him. And she had, like every time that happened, begun to cry and he had, like every time, pointed out how bad she looked, that she was a bad wife and an even worse mother and that she would never be able to win _The Voice_. And in the end she had locked herself in the bathroom and cried for an hour until there were no tears left, only emptiness and loneliness and longing for the love of her husband. Love, that she knew never existed and never would exist. At least not in the way she wanted it to be.

When she got to the set two hours later, her eyes still red and puffy, with sunglasses to hide them and a fake smile that usually always worked, the first thing Blake had said, after she had greeted her colleagues, was that he was sorry that her marriage was so toxic and that he knew what it is like and that she could always talk to him. It had almost made her cry again. Almost.

 

***

 

The first time she realized that there was nothing left to save in her marriage and that she would probably get a divorce she didn't cry, she just wanted to die. It had been the day after the Grammy awards. Kingston and Zuma had a sleepover at her parents' house, because she realized how uncomfortable they were every time she and Gavin were in the same house. Apollo was asleep in her bed, because Gavin again wasn't there and she hated sleeping alone.

She just wanted to turn off Kings tablet, because since two hours it peeped every time a message came and she couldn't hear it anymore. How much could nine year old boys text anyway? Because she was sure it were texts from Kings friends. But when she turned it on it weren't texts from some kids.

The second she read the first texts her heart stopped and she died.

 

_-hey babe, come over today?- 06:07 PM_

_-sry mindy, wife's home- 06:19 PM_

_-:(, come on, G was home last time too, Gavin- 06:20 PM_

_-ok. b there in 20- 06:43 PM_

_-i love u- 06:49 PM_

 

She remembered that she threw the tablet across the room and that the display broke into millions of pieces. She remembered Apollo starting to cry and her ignoring him for almost ten minutes (which she still hates herself for). She did not cry, but she also did not want to live anymore. Because this was prove for everything she had known for a long time.

And the minute she heard him come home that night, she knew it was all over. Because he did not even come to their room, he just slept on the couch.

The tears came the next morning, when she told him she would get a divorce.

 

***

 

The first time she told anybody outside her family about it, she was so ashamed of being cheated on for years. She knew none of her co-workers, who were more friends than that, would judge her, but it still was embarrassing.

In the end, she didn't tell anything, but Blake did.

“Miranda and I are getting a divorce” It felt as if he just exposed her and just minutes later she realized she looked like she was a deer caught in the head lights. “Gwen, are you okay?”, Adam asked, but all she could do was shake her head and start crying. She saw Adam, Blake and Pharrell frown and wanted to slap herself when she started sobbing uncontrollably and almost hyperventilated. “Me too”, was all she could say after minutes of crying and panicking friends that didn't know what was wrong. In the end Blake asked everyone to go out of the room and speak to her alone and everyone did as asked (even though Adam looked as if he wanted to debate, but Pharrell did not let him).

“I'm sorry”, she told Blake because she really was. He had been trying to tell something so hard and hurtful and bad, and she started crying and ruined it. Just like she ruined everything. Her carrier, her marriage, her family.

But Blake just smiled sadly and whispered “'s okay” and hugged her for a few minutes until she didn't cry anymore.

They did not film anything that day and Blake asked Gwen if he could come over later. She agreed.

 

***

 

The first time he kissed her they were drunk and didn't talk about it the next day. Or the day after that. They never talked about it.

 

***

 

The first time she kissed him they were both sober and the next day, when she woke up in his arms, she was happier than in the last five years (except at Apollos birth of course. He was still her little miracle baby).

 

***

 

The first time Gwen caught herself thinking about a happily-ever-after and a I-love-you-and-I-want-to-marry-you relationship with Blake she was scared to death, because it was only two weeks after the announcement of her divorce and she had been twenty years with the same guy and suddenly she thought about a life with someone else. She was so scared and surprised by those thoughts.

It had been a normal day. They had filmed some interviews and, like every time after filming since she and Blake became so close, she went to his trailer and went inside without knocking (because she came over almost everyday to make out with him and after two weeks he had told her to just come in without knocking, so she did). And he stood there, just smiling at her with those cute dimples that made her knees weak, and she couldn't help but wish that she would be greeted by this sight every night and morning forever. When she realized what she had just thought, she got so scared that she just started to talk without thinking about it, so she told him that she did not want to spent time with him that day or anytime soon (and maybe implied that they were over) and ran out of his trailer into hers and left a confused and very hurt (she saw it in his eyes and hated herself for it) Blake behind.

When she slammed the door shut behind her she took her phone out and called her best friend and sister-in-law. She hoped Jen would just talk her out of her silly crush and tell her that she was insane and that it wasn't real and that stopping whatever it was with Blake.

But in the end Jen just fought every single one of her arguments that spoke against the idea of thinking of Blake and forever in the same context. And after Gwen had accepted that (which took Jen four solid hours and all of her nerves) her friend angrily made clear that she had acted like a mean, heartless and hurtful diva towards Blake and that if she didn't apologize to him immediately they could not be best friends anymore because Jen did not wan a best friend like that (Gwen knew that Jen would still be her best friend if she did not do it, but it was like a wake-up call for her and she was so thankful for that) and because Jen actually loved Blake.

When Blake did not react to her phone calls and texts (not that she blamed him) she called Adam.

And Adam was damn angry with her, because Blake came to his house that night, totally depressed over the fact that he thought she did not like him any longer (well, she didn't. She loved him) and that he thought she just broke up with him before they were officially _something_ and Gwen almost started crying when she realized that Blake too had to fight his insecurities and that she just made everything ten times worse. And that she probably destroyed their mutual trust and their relationship, that even if they hadn't said it out loud, definitely existed.

When she told Adam that she just realized she loved Blake and that she was scared and so, so sorry, he told her that he knew all that and that she should come over and tell Blake right now because he was close to start drinking again.

Adam lived forty minutes from her house. She drove too fast and just needed twenty-five and had to pay lots of money the next day but it was so worth it. A tired looking Behati opened the door (after all it was like four AM) and after a short hello she ran into the living room. Blake sat on the couch with his head in his hands and Adam next to him. As soon as Adam saw her he nodded with such a sharp look that she had to hold back a wince, stood up and walked in the kitchen where Behati closed the door behind him.

She said down next to Blake as soon as Adam was out of the room.

“Blake? I am so sorry”, she said with a voice that sounded just as broken, sick and regretful as she felt. Blake frowned but didn't move. When she tried to touch his shoulder he winced, so she did not try that again. “Could you please look at me?” He didn't and she understood why but it was still like a knife in her heart because this showed her that she really hurt him and that he probably hated her and that she now would be alone with a broken heart again. The thought alone made her cry silently. She did not want him to talk to her just because she was crying like a baby (she knew he would because he hated to see her cry) so she stayed silent until she could talk again. The tears would not stop but when she was at least able to use her voice she tried again.

“I love you”

Oh shit, that was not what she wanted to say, but after a few seconds where her body was frozen like someone just stabbed her she remembered what Jen had told her. She loved him. She did not have a crush and she did not just like him. She loved him. And maybe it was a rebound or maybe he did not feel the same and maybe, if he did, it wouldn't work out, but what if it did? What if he was her forever?

So she did not correct her statement and waited for his reaction. When nothing came she really started sobbing and she closed her eyes and she felt as if her world had stopped turning. But when she felt two strong arms around her that were a bit too tight but just what she needed in that moment, she looked up. Blake cried too, but he had a smile on is face that could light the entire universe.

“I thought ya realized that ya didn't like to hang out with me after all”, he whispered and kissed her forehead. She shook her head. “Never” And with that everything was said.

After long minutes of silence he leaned in to kiss her nose.

“Love you more”

 

***

 

The first time anyone (who was not Adam, Jen, Behati, Carson or Pharrell) found out that their relationship was not only a good friendship but so much more, was in the middle of September and a month after they first said 'I love you' and decided to try the dating thing. And it actually was Kelly Clarkson who figured it out first, which was somehow surprising because she was faster than their families and somehow unsurprising because she was the wife of Blake's manager after all and she also was friends with Gwen.

Still, Gwen was kind of startled when Kelly suddenly in the middle of small talk asked her about it.

“So tell me, Gwen. What is this thing between you and Blake? You look at each other with heart-emoji eyes and it kinda freaks me out in a good way. Blake is basically my brother and you are a really good friend. Please tell me there is something going on between the two of you! Even if you're not aware of it yet” Gwen could not contain a chuckle even though she was surprised by what Kelly said about the heart-emoji eyes. She thought they hid it pretty well. Or well, it could also just be Kelly's imagination (she knew Kelly was right, but she liked to at least think that they were good at hiding it). “Tell me!”, Kelly almost jumped up an down in front of her. It was funny how exited she was.

“Okay, okay. Calm down you crazy girl!”, Gwen said laughing and thought about how to say it – She decided to just say how it was. “We're dating”

She didn't even finish the statement before Kelly jumped at her and hugged her while she screamed her excitement into Gwen's poor ear. “I knew it! I am so happy for the two of you! You deserve each other. But now you have to tell me everything. How long?” Gwen smiled at the other singer. “A little over a month” “So cute! I'm saying bye now, I just have to make fun of Blake. Bye Gwen!” Gwen laughed and waved at Kelly who was already out of the room.

 

***

 

The first time Kingston and Zuma said that they missed Blake and that they loved him she was so happy she wanted to throw it in Gavin's fucking face.

Sadly, Blake was not there that day because he had a few shows in Oklahoma and because of the children (that she loved having home) she couldn't come with him like she did the whole four months since they became a couple.

It was after she put Apollo in his bed when she walked back into the living room where Zuma and King watched _How to train your dragon_ that she realized something was off. Both boys were whispering quietly to each other and when she sat back down on the couch they stopped and just looked at her in a weird way. She looked expectantly at them. “What's up, boys?”

They looked a few seconds at each other before King spoke. “We just were talking about Blake.” She frowned. She had talked to the boys about being in a serious relationship with her cowboy and they had been okay with it. Had they changed their minds? She felt her heartbeat speed up but forced herself to stay calm. “And?”

“Well”, Zums spoke now, “we just want to know if Blake could watch a movie with us sometime.” Gwen had to blink a few times before she understood what her middle son meant. “You want him to watch a movie with us?” Both boys nodded. “We kinda miss him, ya know. He was always with us for weeks. And now he is in Oklahoma and somehow we never watch movies with Blake.” She had a hard time keeping a serious face when her oldest used (or more like tried to use) Blake's southern accent. It just sounded so damn cute.

She smiled brightly at her sons. “I'm pretty sure Blake would love that. How about we FaceTime him and you guys ask him, okay?” They both nodded happily. She took the family tablet and searched for Blake's name. It didn't even ring two times before her boyfriends face appeared on the screen.

“Hey sunflower. I was just about to call you myself. How are you?” She heard her boys giggling at the mention of the nickname he had given her when he found out sunflowers were her favorite flowers. She shot them her best angry-mom look and they both stopped making fun of the name immediately. She smirked. It always worked. “Hey cowboy”, she smiled brightly at him. He looked at her with a curious look. “Since when are the boys allowed to listen to us talkin' on the phone, darlin'?” She laughed. It was so true, but it was better the boys didn't listen to _some_ of their conversations because they would probably be traumatized from all the dirty-talking.

“They want to ask you something, babe.” She saw the surprise on his face and almost melted. He was so damn cute sometimes. When he looked nervously at her she smiled reassuringly at him. “Okay”, Blake said still a bit confused. The boys never talked to him on the phone (just “hello” and “all good?” and things like that).

“Hey Blake!”, Zuma cried excitedly when Gwen gave Kingston the tablet. Her oldest just waved at her boyfriend. “Hi boys. What's up? Your mom said ya want to ask me somethin'?” King nodded.

Gwen walked to the other side of the room, where she could listen and help Blake if he needed it but still gave them some privacy.

“Yeah! So, King and I watched this movie today. It is called _How to train your dragon_. Do you know it?” She heard Blake chuckle. “Yep. My nephew and niece told me about it, but I have never watched it.” “Great!”, Zums said, while Kingston smiled happily. “We wanted to know if you would like to watch it with us sometime.”, King asked, hopeful for a positive answer. “Sure. I would love to watch it with y'all when I'm back. I will talk with your mom about it, okay?”, Blake answered and even though Gwen could not see his face she knew he was smiling and so happy that the boys want to watch a movie with him. “Okay. We'll give ya back to mom, so ya can make those heart-emoji eyes at each other. She was waiting the whole day to talk to you.”, Kingston said and grinned at Blake and then at Gwen. Blake laughed. “Night boys.” “Night Blake. I love you.”, King said. “Me too!”, Zuma shouted and pouted because King got to say it first.

That's when she decided to step in because she heard Blake breathing heavily, which was a sign that he was just about to cry (this time out of happiness but still...) “I love ya guys too.”, Blake answered just before Gwen took the tablet out of Kings hands and told them to brush their teeth and go to bed.

When the boys were out of the room, she looked at Blake who just wiped some tears from his cheeks. “Aw Blakey. You knew the boys loved you” He nodded. “But it is the first time they said it and I said it back.”

She giggled. “What about me, Cowboy? Ya love me?”

He grinned with bright shining eyes. “Darlin' I love ya more than anything.”

“Well, I do love ya a lot more, ya know that?”

“I am sorry sunflower, but that is impossible!”

 

***

 

The first time Apollo called her boyfriend 'Dada' they had been in the middle of a meeting for some _The Voice_ interviews.

Apollo had been whiny the whole day and night before and had not want to stay with his dad's nanny so Gwen and Blake had taken him with them to the meeting, because Gwen was sure that he was becoming sick and she did not want to leave her baby sick with someone else.

The boss loved the almost two year old so it wasn't a problem. Adam and Pharrell had smiled the whole time the little boy sat on Blake's lap. It was a bit funny how her son loved sitting on Blakes lap more than hers but on the other hand she could totally understand it. She would rather sit on Blake's lap too.

The whole time the boss talked about the do's and don't's of interviews (she did not really listen, she could tell all of them in her sleep) Blake made goofy faces at the baby that made him (and Gwen too) giggle and clapping his hands adorably. But now, almost three hours into the meeting Apollo started to get whiny and cranky because he was tired. Gwen had taken him into her arms and tried everything to calm him down: rubbing his back, singing in a low voice to not disturb the meeting, but nothing worked. When the baby started to whimper everybody's heads turned to the couple (who turned slightly red, because Gwen sat almost in his lap and Blake and she looked at each other with googly eyes) and the child.

“Everything okay?”, Carson asked and pointed at Apollo. Gwen sighed. “'Pollo is just tired and a bit sick, don't worry.” The meeting would be over in 15 minutes anyway.

The boss continued with the meeting and the people in the room stopped looking at them.

“Come on, 'Pollo. What is up?”, she asked her baby and looked alarmed at her boyfriend when she touched Apollos forehead. He had a fever. It must have broken out now because half an hour ago he had been fine.

“He's got a fever”, Gwen explained to Blake in a low voice. “How bad?”, he asked. “Not too bad, but bad enough to make him cry”, she answered and looked at her half asleep baby in her arms. Her heart broke every time one of her boys wasn't feeling good. “I'll talk to the boss. Let's get out of here” Blake tried to stand up but the second his hand left Apollos curls his eyes immediately opened and he began to cry really loud. Gwen looked shocked at Apollo. Normally Apollo was really laid back and not so clingy to anyone.

“No Dada! No!!”, he screamed and everyone who was in the room froze. “Did he call you 'Dada', man?”, Adam asked into the shocked silence. Blake did not answer. He just looked at her and the baby in her arms with a shocked, surprised but so loving expression that she started to sob with her baby. She loved the fact that Apollo thought of him as a father.

She stood up with her miracle baby and almost jumped at Blake and kissed him (she apologized for their heavy PDA later) .

Apollo stopped crying as soon as Blake (with tears in his eyes) took him into his arms and smiled at him with so much love it made Gwen feel dizzy.

“I love you too, 'Pollo”

 

***

 

The first time Gwen realized that this was it, that this was her forever, and that she was happier than she could ever imagine was on Christmas Eve in Oklahoma three years after she and Blake became a couple.

It had been snowing the whole week since they got there and while Gwen found it too cold to be outside longer than an hour all four of her boys loved it. She stood at the window and watched Zuma and Kingston fighting with snowballs. Her boys were so big already that it almost made her cry. Apollo was a few meters away and was making a snowman together with Blake, who tried to talk her youngest out of giving the snowman something to eat. She smiled at the peaceful image and prayed that this was not the last time all of them were so happy.

She turned her back to the window when she heard her phone ring.

“Hey Jen”, she said and smiled when she heard her sister-in-law on the other end of the line. “Hi girl!” “What's up?”, she asked. Even though she loved her friend dearly she wanted to go outside too and have fun with her boys. “I just wanted to make sure you remembered that the new years party will be at your place. Because you almost forgot it the last time.” Gwen laughed because after all Jen was right. “I remember, don't worry. Hey, as much as I love you I have to go. I will call you later okay?” This time it was Jens turn to laugh. “No problem. But you won't call me later, I promise. We'll just talk tomorrow. Have fun, girl!” And then Jen hung up.

'Confused' was probably the right way to describe how she felt when she put her phone on the kitchen table and went into the bedroom to get a warm jacket and boots. But sometimes Jen was a bit strange so she just put it out of her mind.

When she was sure she would not freeze outside she went out to look for her boys. Kingston and Zuma still tried to defeat the other with snowballs, but the snowman of Apollo and Blake was finished. They were now watching the older boys fighting and cheered on them (Blake wanted both to win and Apollo was just screaming “Fight, fight!”)

She walked up to her boys and when she was behind her boyfriend she put her arms around his middle. Blake stopped cheering, turned and pulled her into a warm hug. “Hey pretty girl, wanna join us?”, he asked and she smiled at him. “Yep. And I want a kiss” He smiled down at her and complied.

“Ew! Mom, stop distracting Blake, he is the referee!”, Kingston yelled suddenly and threw a snowball at her that hit her in the face. She felt Blake trying to hide his laughter.

“Kingston!”, she screamed, half annoyed, half amused. “Sorry”, her oldest replied, “But Zums isn't playing fair and you are distracting Blake. Again.” She rolled her eyes and looked at her boyfriend. “You think this is funny?!” He nodded and gave her sons the thump up. “Great job, guys” She punched his arm. “Well, I don't think it's funny!” She picked up as much snow as she could (even though her hands were cold and hurting from it later it was so worth it) and threw it into the cowboys face. His face was hilarious. Apollo could not stop laughing and even Zuma and Kingston stopped their fight to look at Blake's face (which was red from the cold and he looked so surprised).

“Okay, that's it. Now you started a war!” And with that a snowball war began.

Two hours and ten cold feet later Gwen decided that it was late enough. “Go inside, boys. Shower, change clothes and then we will have dinner and a movie night, 'kay?”And even though they weren't too happy about ending the fun her boys did what she said, because they were tired, cold and hungry (and because she gave them her best angry-mom look).

When she wanted to follow them, she suddenly tripped and fell onto her back (she didn't hurt herself, thank god the snow was so soft) and Blake, who had tried to save her fell onto her.

“You're so clumsy sometimes”, Blake laughed and held himself on his elbows to not lay completely on her and she smiled too (because yes, sometimes she really was clumsy). “Sorry”, she answered (even though she was not sorry at all).

And then suddenly his lips were on hers and he was kissing her with so much love and passion that she wanted to stay there forever (even with the danger of freezing to death and three little boys destroying the house in the meantime).

“Hey Gwen”, he said when they had to stop to catch their breaths. “Yeah?”

“Marry me.”

That was when her world stopped and shifted and everything seemed to make sense all of sudden. And maybe this was not a romantic proposal in an expensive restaurant in LA and maybe it wasn't perfect (it was too cold, she didn't have any make-up on and his hair looked like a tornado, called by the name Apollo, just went over it), but it was so Blake and her, it was so them. It was in Oklahoma, it was dark and they were laying in the snow. It was not perfect, but it was perfect for her.

And that was when she knew he was her forever, her happily-ever-after.

Happy tears fell from eyes and made their way down to her chin.

And then she smiled at him and he smiled back and she felt happier and more content than ever before.

“Yes.”

 


End file.
